yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
