I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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