If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
