I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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