? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
