Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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