wat bout pragnant strippers??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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