Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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