mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize