U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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