i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
