Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
