Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
