woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
