He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
