hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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