Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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