I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
