you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
