Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize