I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's shark week go big or go home
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
