I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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