Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
