Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
