She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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