Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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