At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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