I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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