I'm drive I can fine osifer
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
