I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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