What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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