I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
