Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
