it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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