Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
