I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
