i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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