I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
