If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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