Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
