I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
