Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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