i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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