I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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