Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
