# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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