I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
