I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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