Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
