There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
