just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
