Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
