That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
