Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
