Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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