I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
