coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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